Sunday, December 10, 2017

Snow! A mild covering on the ground although the stupid rain has knocked a fair bit out. Expecting it to ice up overnight.
Hoping for more overnight as then we might not be able to open, if it ices really badly, my boss might not make it in from Gatwick and that will be pleasing.
We did our work AGM so two late nights and yesterday was our craft fair and panto, they were really busy and hoping we broke even at least from it.

Sunday, December 03, 2017

Yeah I got given a written warning. They said that my workload should be manageable, that I was exagerrating my bosses erraticness and almost bullying behaviour. Whatever. I tried to bring it to their attention. It's been dismissed and they made it quite clear they don't want me there.
The obvious thing would be to move on. I'm sick of job hunting. We've been doing it for the whole of this blog's existance.
I like the benefits of working close to home, I like the decent leave they give us and 90% of the time I like the job.
But what can I do? Keep my mouth shut and put up with it? I think I will get through the project thing and then update my cv and have casual looks every now and then. I'm still hopeful that the big funding bid will work out and I can go for that and make it my own but we'll see.

Other news. I found out a while back that Mum and TMWMITW (def need a better pseudonym than that) are getting married. She told me about it during her visit. His court case again Big World Famous Singer is going ahead. He's expected to make at least 1 mill from it. Of course nothing is going to come my way as I can't show that I can afford to live alone.
BUT!!! By March at the latest, hopefully January - definitely February - I will have paid off one of the Big Loans. I also next month get a decent pay rise cos London Living has gone up - i'm hoping an extra £50 a month but we'll see...
So come March i'll have close to another 200 a month in my pay. Of course I need to pay off two credit cards, an overdraft and another loan still but to have 200 a month to put towards this.... well i'm hoping that i'll have paid off the other loan and at least one of the credit cards come this time next year. So that's good.

Money  though.... I dropped my phone out at the weekend. It got run over. It's going to cost me 170 to get fixed. I currently have 12 pounds until payday on the 22nd. (fingers crossed they do an earlier payrun cos of xmas...)

So annoyed with myself but it was a great night and I reinforced my thoughts that One Night Stand guy has clearly moved on, bit of a shame but to be honest it's a good thing. I'm not really designed for that kinda life and it did feel a bit seedy, although i'm not ashamed of it at all.

Anyhoo I suppose I'd better sort my shit out for next week's fun at work.....

Lol. Looked at my stats again and I'm still getting people visiting me from a post I made at least 13 years ago referring to Tobey Maguire's fishhook scar.
 Hi guys!!!

Sunday, November 26, 2017

Looking at stats lately a lot of page visits come from Russia. Instantly my thoughts go to Welshy. It's now two years since I woke up and he suggested we should split up.
I miss him terribly. I miss the friendship and I miss having someone who has my back. I wish I had someone to talk to at home, to vent to, to share my glee at Dog running well, at a good ride. I miss physical contact, holding hands, leaning into someone, hugs.
I know it had reached a natural end but there's still that bit of sorrow that someone who was so important to me for so long has now become a stranger to me and its like another bereavement.

Been a rough week. Faced a disciplinary Friday, Stupid Charbs has spent too long at work using the internet for things other than work and they're trying to twist it and say its why a certain project is behind schedule.
While I hold my hands up and admit to being a bit cheeky about doing things online that really I should do at home, I refuse to take the blame for this project.
Apparently my boss knew the importance of having completed the project by this winter three years ago. I only got sent on the intro course Feb this year, only got the paperwork May, only got online to do it July.
I had three weeks off sick, two weeks holiday. If she knew the importance of this course why didn't she get the log in details when I was off?
I only found out end of October that it needs to be done by end of year and there was such shock I genuinely don't think its not that I've forgotten it, but that I didn't know.
My boss is alright but has moment when she's not approachable, I'd been told various other projects had priority and nothing I do is quick and easy.
I work through my lunch break and the 15 minutes throughout the day (total) that I judged I spent online balanced it out.
I can see why it looks damming, but bloody hell.
They threatened me with the sack, I'm being thrown to the wolves for my boss dropping the ball and not telling me how important it was. Just gotta sit and wait. I'll take whatever punishment they deal out for me being online but I refuse to take the blame for this particular project being behind schedule.

Sunday, November 19, 2017

No blog last week. Naughty Charbs.
In my Defence I was at a dog comp on Sunday and by time I got home I just wanted to watch a spot of Blue Planet 2 and go to bed.
was at a comp yesterday too. Plan was to go up Friday and have a decent sleep so I didn't have to drive to cambridge for 7.30. Yeah. Me and One Night Stand drank wine until 3am. I was ruined.
Kinda sad as I wouldn't have minded messing about a bit but it was never suggested. Think that little adventure is over anyway now.

Anyway, was up with 3 hours sleep and struggled manly through the day. It was a really long day, I think i'd have been tired even without the drinking - Morning races didn't stop until 3pm! (all the threes Saturday... very odd!) Anyhoo it was 9.40 by the time I got home and really driving was a bit fraught as I was so tired. 

I think I'll book to stay saturday night when we go up again in Jan, even if there's no late night the day before it was a bit worrying like I said driving back.

Sunday, November 05, 2017

No blog last week - went to a halloween party in Whitstable. Really good night. Slaved for ages making a lovely cake.

This week has been full on - I ended up being investigated for too much internet use. My boss is trying to use this as a reason to blame me for not doing this quality award mark thing I'm supposed to be aiming for, but thing is. She knew about needing this award for funding for three years, I got sent on an introduction afternoon in February. It was June when I got the book, a lot of it I don't really understand as she deemed the three day course to learn how to do it properly unnecessary.
A lot of what I need is confidential and she doesn't want me to have access to it which is fair enough.
Anyway. I'd cracked on and then put it down mid July to plan Fun Day 2017.
Problem is I then had three weeks off cos of busted leg. She then was away the first week I was back and then spent the next two weeks stressing about a buisness plan.
I was off two weeks in Greece and suddenly its now the start of November and I'm told that if we're not qualified by year end we lose 18k's worth of funding.

Gee thanks.

So bit of a panic trying to get it done.

Been riding, been to see Lolly. Oh I'm so proud of him and he's doing so well. Last week he had no voluntary movement of his leg. This week he showed us that he can bring his knee to his chest and was quietly pleased to announce he had been walking.

Still no arm movement and he's not entirely sure where the portion of his skull that they removed is (could be in his stomach, could be at Kings College, could be in Edinburgh) and he's not sure how they will treat his tumour but he is doing so, so well and I'm in awe.

TP is cracking on well with her cancer treatment - one more to go! She still has no idea where the flowers are from and is waiting to hear what her next steps are. It's all positive for her too :)

Sunday, October 22, 2017

Greece was lovely, all my fears about travelling alone unfounded. Given huge confidence boost about doing it again.
Met usual amount of oddballs and got into odd situations - how many people can get locked into a bank, meet people who firmly believe in David Icke and watch "The Voice" with Greek Grandparents who don't speak any English?
Athens was fairly rough looking everywhere I went, not like Rome where you're just falling over old shit, there it seemed to be more located in one part of it.
Andros - arrived too late in the end to do anything - apart watch telly with the grandparents!
Mykonos, pretty and fun loving.
Santorini - drop dead beautiful at sunset. It had been a plan of Welshy and mine's to go for ages and i'm glad I went.

Now to live carefully a few months and resort out the finances.

Going to a party in Whitstable this weekend, and do have another dog show in wood green to sort out.

My lollypopkin is still very poorly in hospital. I mentioned last post that they were doing tests to investigate his stomach pain. I'm told they found a tumour and removed part of his bowel along with the growth. Fucking Cancer. Will go see him tomorrow.

Suddenly remembered TP and her own cancer battle and diverted to the flower website. I've been sending her secret flowers every month, she doesn't know they're from me! But I hope its giving her something cheery to think about and it makes me feel better as I can't be there as much as I'd like to help her out.

Monday, October 09, 2017


Am meant to fly out to Greece in a few hours. Not organised at all. Gonna run out of funds before its over.

My Lolly had a stroke last Saturday. One of my old NMM friends, the guy I went to Rome with earlier this year. I had a message on Wednesday from G another mutual friend, he had a message from an unknown number saying that Lolly was in the hospital in intensive care.
Tried to text Lolly, no answer, suddenly remembered that he'd not contacted me after I wished him happy birthday which is most unlike him.
Messaged a few friends, just casual. "hey have you seen Lolly, he's ignoring me!"
Found out in intensive care after a suspected stroke. Not expected to make it. No one knew where he was and no one had run around to find out.
I rang the QE, tried QM and then remembered that they don't have A and E, told another friend that it was a suspected stroke. He suggested the Kings College as they have specialist care there for stroke victims.
Rang through, such a drama as I couldn't remember his birthday or address but we got there. I rang back after work to check permission had been given to visit.

He was awful. Huge swollen closed eye, half his head shaved, other half hair sticky with sweat, hooked up to all the beepy machines and drips you see in movies. I was prepared for bad but that was awful. G held it together until we left before he broke down. I rang around everyone I could think of. No he doesn't want visitors to see him like this. Yes he was talking ok, but drowsy.
We went back the next day. Pretty similar. We didn't stay long as he's clearly very tired.

Went back up Saturday as paragliding was cancelled yet again. Moved out of critical care ward. Met his Mum for the first time! He's short and quiet, we were probably overwhelming him, mocking the hospital food that he was trying to eat.
He cannot yet move one side of his body but his eye was open and he looked less swollen. I'm still not sure of timeframe, but the latest one is that he was ill Friday (his birthday) got out of bed, fell. possibly had a stroke as he fell. They thought anaemia first of all. Went to one hospital, then another. Then ended up in Kings. Had another seizure/stroke there Saturday night.
The pressure on his skull was growing. They operated Tuesday to remove part of his skull to help combat this.

Now he's dry heaving constantly, vomiting. They're doing  CAT scans and endoscopies to see what the cause is.

Heartbroken for him. He's like a brother to me as they all are. Just holding on to all the improvements I saw in 4 days and hoping that in 2 weeks he will be alright.